Ok, here's the deal - I may have went a little bit overboard after the Emmys. Since the beginning of the month I had been spending sleepless nights worrying about our show's chances, and it only got worse as the big day approached. Then the big day approached, I put on my tux, I hijacked a limo and off I went to bask in the glory of nationwide adoration.
And they wouldn't let me in. Aparently I wasn't on the "list." How can that be? Aren't all nominees given VIP seats?? Well, as it turns out, I wasn't nominated. Nor was the show, for that matter. Or anything else on the network. Not even for a technical Emmy.
That was the start of a rather unpleasant weekend. Let's just say I woke up yesterday morning in the middle of Nebraska. Like, exactly in the middle. I was laying underneath a sign that said "Welcome to the middle of Nebraska." There was a Japanese family taking pictures of me. Can't say I blame them, it was either me or corn. I'd be pretty pissed off too if I was Japanese and decided to take an exciting trip to America and ended up in Nebraska. Actually I'd just be pissed off if I was Japanese. Square watermelons are unnatural.
Oh, also I was handcuffed to the severed arm of what appeared to be some type of Wolfman. Ponder that one for a minute. I'm not even going to get into how I managed to make it back to civilization, I'm saving that one for the clip show.
So anyway, once I did make it back to the studio I saw a calendar that said it was late September, followed by a stack of parking tickets on my desk from what appeared to be a triple-parking job in a School for the Deaf parking lot by the Weinermobile.
Stupid Emmys. This happens every year.
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