Yes, it's true that I bused in 4 dozen pigs to roam around the audience during my interview with Ray Liotta. Just like I do everytime I interview Ray Liotta. It's a thing we have.
And yes, it's true that most of these pigs were Chinese, having been bought wholesale from a bioweapons lab in Shanghai.
And yes, maybe some of the pigs jumped up on people's laps and sneezed in their faces during the Mini KISS performance, but surely I can't be blamed for that. That's what pigs do.
I mean sure, we did have to smuggle the pigs in from China inside a sewage tanker because they never would have passed customs what with their exhibiting flu-like symptoms and all, but that is purely coincidental. These pigs did NOT have swine flu! If anything, they had bird flue, not swine flu. I didn't know what pigs ate so I ground up some dead birds we found along the banks of the West Nile river and fed them those. And yes, I have a West Nile hunting permit, so don't look down your nose at me. Stupid liberal media.
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