Okay, first things first.
Yes, I'm still alive. Please stop sending armed SWAT teams to my house to determine if I'm okay. At least I assume that's why armed SWAT teams keep swarming into my house. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with that rumored orphan-smuggling ring I keep hearing about on the news which I have nothing to do with, by the way. Pretty sure.
No, the reason I haven't been blogging lately is due to Jay Leno taking over my blog. Not quite sure how it happened, but it appears that at some point, Leno's own blog wasn't getting enough traffic so he decided to take over one with a bigger fanbase. I'm guessing he must have doubled his readership to two when he took over mine. So yeah, that's why the last couple of weeks The Shell Show Blog started doing Headlines, none of which were that funny. Most of them involved Butte, Montana, for some reason. But not worry, your old buddy Shell is back in control! The last SWAT team that paid me a visit left behind one of their assault rifles, and with some creative stage makeup I made it look like Jay's idiot bandleader and snuck it on his set, where an unfortunate drum accident took out a chimpanzee wearing a hat, which I assume is his EP.
In any event, NBC put Jay on lockdown so I was able to get my blog back. So um...yeah. Insert clever blog post here, I guess. Um... okay you know what, Leno may be an unfunny hack jackass, but let's give the man some credit, he's able to come out each night with fresh material. Most of it stolen from what he reads off of cereal boxes, but still.
It beats paying writers.
Monday, January 25, 2010
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