In any event, apparently the people using this...thing...weren't seeing my craptastic website properly. Something about pixels, or framerates, or tubes or something. Normally this wouldn't bother me, as the website is something I don't concern myself with too much, and which only really exists to give my loser nephew something to do besides meth. Which doesn't stop him, btw. (Btw, did you know that btw means 'by the way?' All this time I thought it meant 'Bad Taco Waterslide.' That might not make sense to you but believe me, that's a phrase I use enough to neccessitate an abbreviation. Now I guess I'll just have to go back to saying the whole thing again - damn you internet generation!!)
Anyway, like I was saying, it appears that some important people are using Internet Explorer, and when they go to the show's website it looks like I hired a five-year-old with Parkinsons's to build the thing. And we can't have that - I may not know what an Internet Explorer is, but I'll be damned if my website gives freakin' Carson Daly the impression that he runs a better operation than I do. It's bad enough his show beats us in softball every year, there's no way in hell I'm giving him the internet too, which ironically enough could have prevented Mr. Daly from ever becoming 'famous' if it had existed back when he started. I for one would have been the first one on a 'message' board to wittily bash him and his smirky face. My comments would have been so clever that the internet would have exploded in an awesome overload, killing Carson and everyone at MTV in the process. Yeah that's right, I hate MTV too.
So as for this whole Internet Ecplorer thing, I had a 5-hour long meeting with my IT department during which I learned the following:
Internet Explorer is a browser
I've scheduled another 5-hour meeting for next week so I can find out what the hell a browser is. In the meantime, I've determined that if you are using Internet Explorer, you're a loser. But it just so happens that all the executives at my network are losers too, and they get all pissy when my site doesn't look 'hip' and 'fresh' (those were the words they used in the corresponding memo about this issue. I've issued myself a memo to go up there and punch them in the throat.)
Basically, if you're using Internet Explorer, you now need to push a little button that I'm told is on the site's main page. And that will somehow make things better, or something. I don't know, just do it. All this internet talk is making me stabby, so I'm going to go eat a sandwich. Oh, and to all you losers still using Internet Explorer: download Firefox!! I don't know what that is either, but my nephew was very adamant about it. He should know, he's a meth head.
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