Holy Crap Are You Still Here?

Oh hi...I didn't see you there.

You may have noticed that I don't update the blog very often. Or, more likely - you haven't noticed. Because you never visit the blog. Oh spare me your denials, we both know it's true. I see the analytics on this end and let me tell you something, this blog gets less action than Jennifer Aniston at a bridal show. See what I did there? I made a mean-spirited Jennifer Aniston joke, making fun of her crippling loneliness. And nobody noticed. Because nobody's reading this. Which is just as well, I guess, since bridal show's aren't really good places to get action anyway...at least in my experience. I was trying to make reference to her inability to find a husband and...okay you know what? Nobody' here anyway, so this is where I'm gonna try out my C material. So quit your bitching.

I guess I have only myself to blame, really. I mean let's be honest - this isn't really my job. My job is to interview superheroes and occasionally, shoot them in the face. I'm a holdout from the old days of broadcasting, before there was such a thing as the internet, and this whole "world wide web" thing has me flummoxed. Except, you know, internet porn. I'm quite good with that. Savante-like, even.

So why am I writing this, if I know none of you losers are even going to read it? Well it turns out it's in my contract that I have to blog at least once a month. That was in exchange for a non-extradition clause, so in the end I'm pretty sure I came out on top. So now for every blog post I make, I can enslave as many third-world orphans as I want! Everybody wins!

Now, will I start updating more often if people actually start visiting? I think the better question is if more people start visiting, will I update more often? Think on that, Einstein.

All right, well I'm off to make a baked potato. I know none of you care, because I'm talking into a void right now, so I can pretty much say whatever the hell I want. Hmm.

Daredevil's an idiot, but I liked his movie.

Yeah, come at me.